Whod you bang
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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