Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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