Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
