is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
