i just had sex bonerless
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
