We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
