i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize