My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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