Don't you send me to vm
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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