Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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