I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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