youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
