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forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
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