This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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