Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
