i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize