You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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