were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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