Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
