that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
