Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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