I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
