The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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