You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
