Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
