I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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