That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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