you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
