He disabled his match.com account in front of me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
