a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
