I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
