I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
