the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize