it hurts more in the daytime
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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