You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
