This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
