party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
