Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
