I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
