It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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