Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
