chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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