i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
