i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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