Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
