When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
