You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
