That's intense
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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