It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
