Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
