we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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