I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
