Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My hand turned me down
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize