Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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