does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize