Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have already put on my inside pants.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
