i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
