So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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