i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
