Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
