I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
