We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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