Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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