Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
