Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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